


the music played and nothing hurt me

by Trifoliate_undergrowth



Category: Half-Life
Genre: Alcohol, Gen, Irony, M/M, and i am here to provide, drunken babbling, i like mute gordon this fic is an outlier adn should not be counted, joking about a marriage proposal but it's not a joke but if it was but yes no <3, listen I just think there should be more homoerotic friendship content, listen I rushed this was my first fic in the fandom, teen rating for alcohol use mostly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-30
Updated: 2021-01-30
Packaged: 2021-03-16 04:35:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,552
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29076444
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Trifoliate_undergrowth/pseuds/Trifoliate_undergrowth
Summary: Gordon swayed to the side and caught a glimpse of the guard in the booth, watching them with amusement. Suddenly self-conscious, he stiffened his legs under him, attempting to stand straighter. This resulted in him listing sideways, almost dragging Barney down on top of him.“This is all sleep deprivation,” protested Gordon, voice slurring uncooperatively, and saw the guard smirk in disbelief. “This is… mostly sleep deprivation.”“Sure, Dr. Freeman. Have a nice night.”“Doin' it,” he had the presence and humor to remark as Barney hauled him indoors, and Barney cackled.
Relationships: Barney Calhoun & Gordon Freeman, Barney Calhoun/Gordon Freeman
Comments: 4
Kudos: 47





	the music played and nothing hurt me

The air was cold. He liked to think it sobered him up a bit, but he was still dragging his feet, mostly relying on Barney to keep them heading in the right direction. Barney, pressed close to his right, body warm in contrast with the desert night. He had an arm across Barney’s shoulder, Barney holding onto it to keep him in place, other hand on his back. Warm. This wasn’t bad. He wasn’t sure if he could walk on his own, but he didn’t put too much effort into trying. This was working alright. What happened anyway? Ah yes. He fell over. He still wasn’t quite sure how that happened. Did he fall asleep on his feet somehow? He didn’t think he was that drunk, but he was just about that tired, and between being both drunk and tired he’d believe himself capable of just about any act of stupidity. Anyway, they were outside and Barney was taking care of him so it was going to be fine.

He blinked painfully against a growing light. They had reached the guard station at the entrance to the train stop.

“Jesus, Barney, what’d you do to him? They aren’t gonna let him leave the lab again if this is what happens,” a voice said. He vaguely recognized it. Couldn’t think of a name.

“Oh he’s just fine,” said Barney, adjusting his weight. Gordon swayed to the side and caught a glimpse of the guard in the booth, watching them with amusement. Suddenly self-conscious, he stiffened his legs under him, attempting to stand straighter. This resulted in him listing sideways, almost dragging Barney down on top of him.

“This is all sleep deprivation,” protested Gordon, voice slurring uncooperatively, and saw the guard smirk in disbelief. “This is… mostly sleep deprivation.”

“Sure, Dr. Freeman. Have a nice night.”

“Doin’ it,” he had the presence and humor to remark as Barney hauled him indoors, and Barney cackled. It was bright in here too but not as cold. Barney was trying to move him somewhere but he couldn’t figure out where he was supposed to go and kept bumping into him. They ended up chest to chest and he put his arms around Barney’s shoulders because where else would they go and they swayed there for a moment before Barney lowered him onto a bench he hadn’t noticed and crouched in front of him.

He said something, he wasn’t sure what, the sound came out completely jumbled and he couldn’t remember what it was supposed to be. Barney was resting one arm across his knee, looking up at him.

“Doing okay buddy?” he asked. His face was very close. Gordon realized he was slumping forward. Maybe he should lean back before he slid right off the bench. He wasn’t sliding though. He was fine like this. This was fine.

“Uhhhuhh,” he blinked. Then “why’d we leave?”

“Dude you passed out.”

“Oh yeah. No I. Powernap. Floor party powernap.”

“Sure, well, when you’ve gotta nap on the floor I think it’s time to head home.”

“Are you gonna propose,” said Gordon because Barney was on one knee right in front of him and he’d lost his brain to mouth filter somewhere in the evening. Barney froze up for a second before crumpling into a helpless laugh. Gordon chuckled faintly, still not entirely in the moment.

“Well, damn, I don’t—I don’t think I have a ring,” Barney wheezed, searching his pockets. “Uh, hang on, I got—this?” he pulled out a beer can pull tab and held it up between them.

“Shiny,” said Gordon, and took it very carefully from him to look at it. Barney collapsed into another fit of laughter.

“Buddy I think you need to lay down.” He pushed Gordon down onto his side on the bench and sat next to him. Gordon carefully folded the pull tab in his hand and hung on to it. The steel of the bench was cold under his cheek and it was knocking his glasses sideways. Why was everything metal and concrete in Black Mesa. Depressing. Not the first impression of human culture he’d want to give to the aliens if Black Mesa was a first contact site.

“I think there should be aliens and they should tell me it’s only fair,” he mumbled.

“What’s that?” asked Barney.

“I think if there are aliens. There would be here and it should tell me. Because I want to know and I am very. Here and they should. Let me know about it. If there are aliens. Because I care.”

“Okay.”

“Why’d you here Barnry? I wanted aliens. Because I thought. If anywhere was gonna be aliens it’d be here and. I came because I thought if there were gonna be aliens. I wanted to be there and I wanted to know about it but it’s. My clearance is so low. They don’t tell me about anything I wouldn’t even know if there _were_ aliens. I bet there are aliens and they just won’t tell me. I want the aliens Barney.”

Barney’s hand landed on his shoulder. “You’re really drunk huh.”

“I want to see the aliens,” he said. “I just think I should see the aliens and I am very tired. I am not drunk. I am slightly drunk but mostly tired I have not been sleeping.”

“Why not?”

“I don’t know they don’t tell me that’s the dumb part. I could be working on aliens they wouldn’t tell me it was aliens I wouldn’t know. It’s not fair I want to know if there are aliens. If they’re out there. They don’t—they just—hey Gordon run this test for us no we’re not gonna tell you what we’re testing for it’s fine it’s fine do the test Gordon you don’t need to know what we’re testing for it’s fine that’s not an necessary part of doing th science for you to actually do what you’re doing well you don’t need to know things to know things that’s not like your whole jooooob or anything.”

“You’ve been working a lot?”

“Yeah and I don’t even know what it’s for its high clearance they don’t tell me where the aliens are I want to know if I’m working on aliens. I mean probably not but I want to know what I’m working on even if it’s not aliens I don’t know what I’m doing I want to know what we’re working on it’s all just numbers and data and numbers and no one tells me anything and I want to know the aliens.”

There was an annoying metallic sound and Barney seemed to be trying to move him again.

“Get up, your train’s here.”

It was. Right he was getting home he had to do that. He stood up and swayed towards it. The doors were closed. He slumped against them and tried to dig his fingers into the door seam. They opened. He was on the floor now. But he was inside the train, so. Success, or something.

“Oh boy do you need me to come with you?” he heard Barney saying from behind him, and he automatically said

“Oh no I’m fine!” and pulled himself up and what was he saying? He wanted to say something. He hadn’t said goodbye and the doors were going to close. “I’d tell you if there were aliens. And if I knew about it,” he said instead of a goodbye, “We’re not supposed to but if I knew about the aliens I’d tell you all about it but I don’t know anything and I don’t think it’s fair. But if I find out I’ll tell you all about it. As soon as I know because you are good and cool and I think you should know if I know.”

“Sure,” said Barney, and he couldn’t tell what he meant, he was looking at him funny and now the doors were closing and he still hadn’t said goodbye. The train moved and he stumbled towards the back and pressed his face against the glass. Barney was walking after the train, slowly falling behind. Gordon smiled sloppily and waved at him. Barney stopped and saluted with a little smile as the train pulled away from him. Suddenly Gordon wondered if he really would have come with him and if he shouldn’t have declined the offer. But he couldn’t ask that of him. It was late and they should both be sleeping. Also Barney probably wanted to get back to his party. But he did offer.

He watched him until he was a dark spot in the light of the station, and when that faded, he watched the glow of the station until it faded into the tunnels. Then he sat down and ran his fingertip over the pull tab still in his hand. He kept feeling like there was something he hadn’t said but it was okay because he’d see him again tomorrow and everything would be alright. He just needed to get some sleep before then. He had to run another test in the morning and it could get messy if he wasn’t paying attention. He just needed some sleep and talk to Barney. After the sleep, and the test, later when he was awake. Right. Tomorrow was going to be fine.

**Author's Note:**

> Title from "The view isn't the same" by Mr. Kitty.   
> and then they had a nice restful sleep and a normal test that definitely did not cause a resonance cascade and an alien invasion and there was a normal day where they did normal things. like actually get Barney's reasons (if any besides The Money) for coming to Black Mesa. and talk. and. kiss   
> why is it my fic that starts with a comedy setup ends up with heavy feels while the stuff I expect to be intense is funny   
> anyways yeah like many people I came here from hlvrai but am now getting dragged into just half-life in general


End file.
